What if we tell you that what you have been thinking of as pretty normal in relationship, is actually toxicity? Something that is not healthy at all. Yes, it might be working, there might be disagreements from time to time, but it just leaves you drained almost always…in an unhappy state of mind. For some reason, it is just not going strong, and that has to be toxicity. Something, that you do not realize often but its highly obvious, and let us put it straight- The Red flags.
Make sure you start noticing these in you, your partner and the relationship. Here are the signs:
Controlling behavior
This has to be the biggest red flag in a relationship, that makes it toxic for the other person to stand. It is often seen among some individuals, where they tend to have an attitude of control, which is often presented to be ‘love’. And clearly it is not so. Per say, they want to know every time where are you and keep on checking constantly via texts and calls, without giving a chance to get back to them within time. They control what you wear, what you do and who you spend your time with. If you have been through something like this, you might remember how irritating and annoying it turned for you.
Actually, these kind of behaviors arise when an individual is jealous or simply lacks trust in their partner. Moreover, it has been observed that an extreme in these cases can lead to an abuse.
Disrespect
Well, you won’t find that kind of disrespect only in ‘words’, you will observe it in patterns or their regularly performed actions. You might feel it is all completely normal, but long before you will realize these are actually forms of disrespect. This can be observed in their more than often ‘forgetfulness’. Forgetting about events and things that matter to you or largely concern you. Other behaviors might show them disrespecting your time always, making you wait or not showing importance to you. They don’t keep up to their commitments or promises, somehow you never know what they are up to and where do you stand with them.
Here, you should remember that some people tend to forget things, or make any plans and are not able to show up always. If you talk to them, they might make changes and show improvement. If you realize that it’s unintentional, then you shall be fine, but if it still bothers you then you got to make things clear.
Ignorance towards you
This might pop up every once in a while. When you feel that your needs are constantly ignored, things going against your wishes and comfort. And you will observe that your partner is not concerned about it, rather shows an ignorant attitude.
The key signs include, when they are not listening to you and your concerns actively, kind of dismissing your feelings, not being understanding and being self-centered. Somehow, they consistently fail to acknowledge, understand or respond to your emotional and practical needs.
Lack of support
A healthy relationship follows mutual support towards one another, where there is a desire to watch out for the other, seeing them succeed and move ahead in life. On the contrary, when there is a toxicity everything is competitive between the two. The partner might not encourage you, be happy for your success and does not shows up for you. One might have an ‘envy’ towards the other’s success and restrains thinking any positive about them.
Sooner, the time spend together doesn’t feels any positive, with no concern over each other’s needs and interests.
Manipulation
Occasional lies and constant manipulation, a big red flag. You might have often faced them making up lies, exaggerating certain things, bending the truth in some manner or leaving out some important details so that you believe them and take an action that they want you to, or to get what they want from you. They might do it so that you continue ‘having a certain opinion of them’. Someone like this shall continue doing it even after knowing how much it hurts you.
These are some of the biggest toxic traits in a partner that you must never overlook. Things need to be avoided, but to a certain extent only. After all, they are only causing you the harm, unnecessary trauma and hurt. Better to talk first upon what’s bothering you, wait for how they take it and do the necessary to improve. Ensure working upon it together. If it still doesn’t align, then better to take the right decision for yourself.