Unfortunetly our exes don’t disappear from the earth after a breakup. They keep existing under the same sky. I never understood the concept of being friends with someone you were madly in love with. It just seems impossible to form something truly platonic with a person you shared your feelings, your food and maybe even the bed.
Many claim that being friends with your ex is the “mature” thing to do. But I always feel those people are confusing maturity with hidden emotions that still exists hoping the partner to get back together again. If you choose to keep your ex in life, it’s important that the friendship is genuine and is without any ulterior motives.
Now, there’s a difference between being friends and being friendly. Friend means we watch “Permanent Roomates” at your apartment and I complain to you about my new relationship. Whereas, friendly means- if we pass on street, I’ll smile and say “Hii” rather than trying to be avoiding and rude.
You may not realize it but keeping your ex around as “just friends” can keep you off from moving on. However moving on is hard, and the impulse to keep your ex in your life can be really strong- we all get it. When exes stay friends there’s usually one person secretly hoping to get back and maybe even trying hard to regenerate the closeness again. For a lot of people break-ups are about winning.
However maintaining a healthy competition is good but none of us would really want our ex to suffer a major tragedy. But you will definitely want yourself to be much happy and successful than your ex is. Duh.. But you will have to keep it classy maybe just for the sake of showing off.
~Preeti Ghosh