Manila: mom of three from the Philippines Stella Sibonga is in a marriage she never wanted and is desperate to end it. However, it takes years for a court to annul a marriage in the nation with a Catholic majority.
The Catholic Church, which has significant sway over Philippine society, opposes divorce as being contrary to its teachings, making the Philippines the only country outside of the Vatican where divorce is prohibited.
Those who support legalising divorce claim that the prohibition makes it difficult to leave violent or other abusive spouses or even for couples to end their relationship amicably.
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If a couple wants to divorce, they can ask a court to declare the marriage null and void or to annul it, but the government has the right to appeal that decision.
In a nation where poverty is rife, cases can cost up to $10,000 or more and the outcome is never guaranteed. Some people looking for a quicker resolution fall victim to online scams.
"I don't understand why it has to be this difficult," said Sibonga, who has been attempting to leave the marriage that her parents forced her into after she became pregnant for 11 years.
Sibonga's legal battle started in 2012 when she requested a divorce on the grounds of her husband's purported "psychological incapacity," one of the reasons for dissolving a marriage.
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A judge eventually concurred after five years and $3,500 in legal fees. But the ex-domestic helper's relief didn't last long.
The decision was successfully appealed in 2019 by the Office of the Solicitor General, which serves as the government's legal counsel and is charged with defending the institution of marriage. Sibonga claimed that she has asked the Court of Appeals to overturn its decision but has not yet received a response. Sibonga, 45, a resident of the vicinity of Manila, asked, "Why are we, the ones who experienced suffering, abandonment, and abuse, being punished by the law?" "Freedom is all we want," The Catholic Church, which opposes abortion and contraceptives, is the most potent opponent of divorce in the Philippines. According to official census data, 78 percent of the 110 million people in the country identify as Catholic, and many politicians are reluctant to disagree with the Church on delicate social issues.
But in recent years, Congress has made significant gains. Despite fierce opposition from the Church, a contentious birth control law was passed in 2012.
A divorce bill that was approved by both the majority and opposition parties in the House of Representatives in 2018 later came to a standstill in the Senate. This proposal had never before advanced that far.
According to surveys by the polling firm Social Weather Stations, divorce is now viewed differently in the Philippines. In 2005, 43% of Filipinos agreed that divorce should be permitted "for irreconcilably separated couples," while 45% disagreed.
53 percent of respondents to the same survey from 2017 agreed, while only 32 percent disagreed.
A number of bills have been introduced in the House and Senate by a group of lawmakers in a new effort to make divorce legal. According to congressman and bill author Edcel Lagman, "We are not dissolving any marriages."
Legalising divorce would allow women and their children to escape "intolerant and abusive husbands," according to Lagman, who claimed that it was only for "dysfunctional marriages beyond repair."
President Ferdinand Marcos stated before his election that the nation should think about allowing divorce but insisted that it should not be simple. Online scams promising to obtain a quick decision without time-consuming court appearances have arisen as a result of the onerous process for obtaining a court order to dissolve a marriage.
A growing global trend of con artists profiting from misinformation was highlighted by the fact-checking work of AFP, which uncovered numerous Facebook posts that spread erroneous information about the annulment legal procedure in an effort to draw customers.
One victim claimed she paid the equivalent of $2,400 for a fake annulment service. In an effort to obtain a divorce under Islamic law, she is now thinking about converting to Islam.
On the condition of anonymity, she said, "I'm really attempting every option just to be single again." I'm looking for a quicker, more convenient alternative to annulment because it's so time-consuming, costly, and uncertain.
The number of people falling for fraudulent services, according to family law expert Katrina Legarda, demonstrated the "dire need" for new legislation.
However, Father Jerome Secillano of the Catholic Bishops' Conference of the Philippines said that the country should be "proud" to be the only one outside of the Vatican that is "holding on to the traditional concept of marriage."
In a relationship, there will invariably be flaws, he said. Divorcing a violent partner, according to Secillano, would "perpetuate the violence" because the abuser would move on to abuse their subsequent partner. He claimed, "You are not actually curing the disease itself."
Sibonga was brought up as a Catholic but stopped going to services to avoid being accused of adultery. She has been dating someone for a while, but they can't get married until her first marriage is formally annulled.
In the Philippines, where a sluggish justice system can take years to resolve even minor issues, the length of time her case has taken to resolve is not unusual. People believe that I am a sinner because I am still legally married, she claimed.
"They genuinely think that what God has joined together cannot be divided. Really? Is divorce still prohibited even if your husband is attempting to kill you and has done everything else?
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Sibonga claimed that her marriage had been traumatic and had driven her to make two suicide attempts.
She doesn't want her kids to get married before divorce is legal. She said, "I told them they could live together and have as many kids as they want, but I won't ever agree to them getting married. Simply put, I don't want them to become like me.