1. Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
2. Mother: “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick: “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother: “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick: “What school?”
3. Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?"
Driver pulls out his mirror and says: "Yes, it's me."
4. Dentist: "You need a crown."
Patient: "Finally someone who understands me"