Men dream of ideally mastering sexual techniques and women want to have a perfect body. But problems in bed usually arise for other reasons.
According to Watson, most men come to therapy to pump sexual skills. But the problem is usually not related to their skill. The error lies in one or more of the following points.
1. Incorrectly interpret the absence of female desire
About the attractiveness of women to men immediately reports their body. Only one kind of unfamiliar beauty or own partner can cause them a partial erection. Women are different. Their excitement is associated with imagination and fantasy, so they need more time to tune in to sex.
So do not take the lack of instant desire to partner to heart. It is better to stretch the process of seduction a little.
2. Frustrated by her slow arousal.
This error is closely related to the previous one. Women slowly tune into sex and slowly get excited. This is a question of physiology, no more. But if the partner feels that the man is disappointed with her speed abilities, her desire increases even more slowly. Or disappears altogether.
Solution: relax, take your time and enjoy every moment.
3. Too fast moving to genitals.
Many men prefer genital caresses to others and think that women share their sympathy. Mistake. A woman’s physical arousal is not a signal of a rapid transition to the main point. On the contrary, premature genital stimulation can kill desire.
Solution: it is better to wait a little more, continuing to caress the partner’s entire body.
4. Concentrate on their erections.
Men who care too much about their erections can destroy the feeling of intimacy during sex.
If they are focused on delaying ejaculation, the woman may feel isolated, forgotten. To calm her down, Watson advises men to stay in touch, talk to her about their desire.
If an erection, on the contrary, weakens, it is a good idea to use this time for an additional round of caresses.
In the case of rapid ejaculation, you can tell a partner that the reason is in her incredible sexuality. And resort to oral sex. He is no worse than the usual sexual intercourse.
5. Stimulate only the vagina.
The head of the clitoris is about the same as the head of the penis. Needless to say that only vaginal stimulation is not very effective? Yes, of course, there are exceptions. But still more often it is the clitoris - the center of sexual pleasure of a woman.
Women who have problems with sex, often associate them with the lack of a perfect body or fantastic skills, like a porn star . According to Laurie Watson, all of this does not correspond to reality. Most likely, the reason is associated with the following errors.
1. hint too thin
Many women believe that men can read minds. Therefore, instead of directly telling about their desire or demonstrating it by action, they resort to a system of subtle, understandable only by themselves hints.
Solution: forget about telepathy. Words and unequivocal touches are more productive.
2. Few talks about their desires.
To say about your preferences once is not enough. An excited man can just forget about all the nuances that you like (especially if they were voiced between the case six months ago). Do not be afraid to remind him of them. It is in any case better than waiting, enduring and offended, thinking that he simply does not want to make you happy.
3. Concentrate on your body flaws.
Men enjoy simply the presence of a real, naked and attractive woman. Those at this very moment are thinking about the flaws of their own body. The flow of self-criticism keeps women away from the process, reduces desire and makes sex faded and bland.
If you have a similar problem, try to distract from criticism by shifting your attention to bodily sensations. Try to listen to the breath, feel the pleasure of touch. And think less.
4. Worry about doing things right
To make a partner really nice, you need to have fun herself. Watson also notes that in sex therapy, women are more likely to care about how well they behave in bed. As a result, anxiety does not allow them to relax and explore their own feelings.
Solution: just ask the man what he likes and how. It is much better than spending extra energy on mastering the ideal, divorced from practice, technology.
5. Touch lightly or tentatively.
Most men excite feminine confidence, including in touch. Women, on the contrary, often do it too gently, as they like themselves. In addition, Watson notes, men often complain that their partners avoid touching their genitals or are waiting for a special invitation.
Her advice is to stop building a shy girl. Kiss passionately, twist tightly and touch without constraint. In general, prove your interest in practice.