We want sex and are afraid of losing it. However, we often behave in such a way that in our life there is no room for real intimacy.
1. Lies about true desires
A rare person can speak freely about their sexual preferences and strangeness. Deep down, we fear public disapproval and censure. Sex is an intimate affair, but it is surrounded by a fence of stereotypes. Guilt due to “abnormality”, phobias, indifference, disgust and neurosis create a vicious circle and gradually destroy sex.
Sharing true desires is difficult even with a very close partner. There is always the fear of being misunderstood.
What happens in the bedroom, in this sex confessional, should be an act of highest recognition and encouragement.
2. The desire to follow the rules
Why are sex fantasies with nurses and flight attendants popular? Because sex with a man in the form of breaking the rules, breaking the patterns. Every day we have to be correct and good: do exercises in the morning, have healthy oatmeal, be friendly with colleagues. For the sake of "normality," sexual desires are suppressed.
From time to time it is useful to be unpredictable and irrational in sex. This, of course, is not about making love during the day on the playground. Enough not to drive yourself into the frame and allow small pranks in the bedroom. Or any other place where no one will see you. Sexual audacity give invaluable sense of their own power.
Biological fact: married couples experience a decrease in sexual desire and frequency of sex. It is difficult for married people to change patterns: this is everyday life, and this is erotica and sex. Psychologists believe that marriage and parenting are no different from the management system of a small business. In other words, married, having come in the evening from work, continue to administer and solve problems, only in their slippers and dressing gowns. Hence the desire to avoid sex, in order not to lose the business attitude and not to forget about what remains to be done.
Couples also need to work on evening conversations. Paying bills and plans for the weekend is great. But while the children are sleeping, you can talk about plans for this night and, finally, put on a nurse's costume and play at a sex clinic.
4. “Not today, dear”
This is not just a phrase, it is a blow to the solar plexus. The refusals of one spouse affect the other more destructively than the failures of random people. They undermine self-esteem and wound to the very heart. After all, we decided to share life with this person, and he has a headache again. So he no longer finds us attractive.
5. Pigsty in the kitchen
The dishes piled in the sink, the crumbs on the table, and the burned pans on the stove will discourage anyone from having sex. The couples living together share a lifestyle, and with it - everyday problems, such as the order of garbage removal or cleaning a cat.
Being close is not easy, and this, too, must learn. To find compromises, share insults and doubts and agree on the rules of living together.