Cheers to Macron! France's Beer-Drinking Powerhouse
Cheers to Macron! France's Beer-Drinking Powerhouse
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Paris: The Élysée Palace is the last bastion of civilisation. The fact that Emmanuel Macron drank a beer with Toulouse rugby players to celebrate their victory over La Rochelle in the Top 14 final has drawn ire from his detractors. All political stripes of French legislators have taken offence at the video showing the President downing the offending beverage. 

According to The Times, far-right Reconquête MEP Gilbert Collard dismissed Macron's actions as "showing off," while socialist senator Laurence Rossignol criticised Macron for being "a macho cliché." The president was charged with using "toxic masculinity," according to Green Party deputy Sandrine Rousseau. I would never advise my grandmother to eat eggs, but if you're French and somehow a booze-hating.

When it comes to politicians drinking in public, Macron is in good company. When he was prime minister of Australia in the 1980s, the late Bob Hawke was renowned for his beer-sculling prowess, once downing two pints in just 11 seconds. So much so that he was surrounded by fans cheering him on as he downed another ale in record time while attending the cricket match. Barack Obama loved craft beer so much that he was the first US president to brew his own beer in the White House in 2011. Angela Merkel was unable to campaign for office without downing a few beers. Seriously, take a look at the sheer number of images from the German election on Getty Images are just Angie demolishing a Weihenstephaner while outlining her tax reform plans. 

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A British prime minister would be accused of alcoholism or, worse, jingoism if he sampled his country's ales with such zeal. A preference for beer increases the likelihood that the politician in question isn't completely wrong, though it doesn't guarantee political soundness or ministerial ability. heavily paraphrasing William F. Buckley Jr. The first 2,000 names in any journalist's contacts book are more qualified to rule over me than the first 2,000 public health experts, moral police, masculinity watchers, and other joy-sucking dullards combined. 

The humble fermenter of grain sugars has made more contributions to humanity's advancement than any scientist, inventor, or thinker combined. Beer truly levels the playing field by uniting the rich and the poor in a thirsty appreciation of that refreshingly hoppy nectar. There would be no more class warfare and wars if lager and beer were used in place of politics and diplomacy. When Homer Simpson said that alcohol was "the cause of and solution to all of life's problems," he was only partially correct. Lack of beer is the root of most problems in life. 

 

Macron is not to blame for toxic masculinity; rather, those upset at a fleeting scene of male triumph and celebration are to blame. Toxic masculinity is the state of being aware that you are a man but unaware that you should feel bad about it. In a time of moral fusspottery and gender confusion, beer and masculinity are clear enemies of the people. No matter how hard you try, beer and masculinity are straightforward concepts. They are about the well-known and trustworthy, about hard work and its meagre reward. A man doesn't need much to be happy; he can find it in beer just as easily as in sports, a job well done, and a safe and secure family. 

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This straightforward sense of self and preference for simple pleasures contrasts sharply with the status-driven, overly educated, and physically underdeveloped times of today. Beer is the perfect beverage for the "toxic male" because, when consumed in moderation, it neither promotes pretentiousness nor stirs up the emotions. Warm satisfaction and quenching of a thirst are the results. 'A man who doesn't drink is, in my opinion, not fully a man,' said Chekov. He was onto something if you changed that to say beer. 

 

Given that Macron is a politician with fairly low approval ratings right now, the alcohol stunt was undoubtedly a form of positioning meant to make the elitist technocrat appear more like a regular guy in France. There won't be any takers for that anytime soon. However, it says something positive and comforting about France that the president feels compelled to demonstrate that he is strong enough to down an entire bottle of beer in just 17 seconds. (Bob Hawke could have finished the entire bar in 17 seconds, obtained the bartender's contact information, and started in on the pub next door.) Macron's preferred beverage, Corona, should be the one you drag him over for.

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A necessity for civilised man, beer is the drink of the tenacious and obedient. Everyone who enjoys its everyday pleasures ought to stand up in support of Emmanuel Macron for standing his ground against the barbarians. 

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