Slow sex: what is it and why should we do it

Apr 30 2019 08:41 PM
Slow sex: what is it and why should we do it

Quick sex is often associated with a violent passion, but in fact, often turns out to be only a way to get an orgasm as soon as possible, that is a banal discharge. Slow sexual intercourse, which has more and more supporters, pursues completely different goals. What is he like? Let's figure it out.

What is slow sex

The psychotherapist and specialist in the field of human sexuality Barnaby Barrat (Barnaby B. Barratt) in the article "Sensuality, sexuality, and eroticism of slowness" highlighted three main characteristics of slow sex:

  • Focus on the process. That is attention at each stage of intimacy, and not on the desire to quickly reach the finish.
  • Orientation to pleasure. That is a concentration on the sensory perception of any touch, and not on the desire to break free from tension.
  • Playfulness. That is, free and unhurriedly following each call of the body, and not turning sex into a clearly structured process that takes place over a certain period of time.

also read: 14 sex positions for men who love to dominate

Tantric sex implies a slow, gradual contact with yourself and a partner, self-awareness during this contact and the release of a powerful flow of sexual energy that can also affect other areas of life.

It is not surprising that a man of Western culture is more inclined to have fast sex: our civilization was formed under the influence of Christianity, which almost demonized corporeality. In addition, we are accustomed to achieving goals and be effective.

In an ever-accelerating world, we need to have time to get our number of orgasms - there is simply no time for unhurried sex. And in vain.

What are the advantages of slow sex

1. Slow sex greatly increases the sensitivity and enhances the intimacy between the partners. Many sexologists agree with this. The fact is that opening up for emotions during sexual contact, partners get rid of the need to “work for the result” (this is especially important for men).

Thus, sex is no longer a stress factor. It becomes a way of relaxation and a creative act. French psychoanalyst and sex researcher Alain Heril (Alain Héril) believes that this practice is able to return the desire even in a very long relationship.

2. Slow sex can be a way of self-development. By concentrating on his sensations, a person trains awareness begins to better understand himself and live more fully. These statements are more relevant to tantric practice.

Thus, the author of the book “The Heart of Tantric Sex: A Unique Guide to Love and Sexual Joy”, Diana Richardson, notes that sex in tantra is a way to touch your own essence. By practicing it, a person opens a source of pleasure in himself and can truly explore a partner, not perceiving him as a machine for achieving orgasm.

3. Slow sex brings much more pleasure than fast. Practitioners of this kind of closeness can master the technique of orgasm control. It consists of maintaining a highly excited state for a long time, which ultimately ends in an orgasm of the whole body and almost euphoria.

A similar experience from tantra is described in the book Without Fuss: How to Stop Rushing and Start Living, Canadian journalist Carl Honoré. According to him, with normal sex comes the genital orgasm, which lasts only a few seconds.

Tantra stretches ecstasy in time and enhances it. Sexual energy is distributed throughout the body, and it literally convulses with pleasure.

Sounds impressive right? But how to achieve this? Here are some tips.

How to have slow sex
1. Prepare the setting

For the disclosure of sensuality is an important environment: smells, colors, textures. At your disposal is a bath, essential oils, scented candles, silk - in general, everything that can enhance the sensations. And, of course, take care of the time. For slow sex, it should be a lot.

2. Start with eye contact.

A look can be no less exciting affection than a touch. Carefully examine the partner's body, as if touching him with your eyes.

Many women have complexes about the figure. To overcome them, imagine that with each removed item of clothing you remove some kind of complex or alarm. Thus, exposing the body, you will get rid of fear.

3. Watch your breath

American writer James Powell (James N. Powell), who explored the culture of slow sex with Polynesian peoples, advises watching your partner breathe. So you will feel the energy that unites all parts of your body and connects you with a partner.

Sexologist Val Sampson also argues that with the help of breathing exercises you can significantly stretch the duration of a male orgasm. To do this, being in the pre-orgasmic state, a man should calmly breathe deeply and try to relax his muscles as much as possible. Then instead of the usual 7-10 seconds, the pleasure can last as much as 30.

4. Examine all parts of the body.

Slow sex is an opportunity to devote time to those areas that are usually ignored during sexual intercourse. Now you have a chance to learn something new about your elbows, palms, and ankles. Try a long erotic massage or a long caress of a particular part of the body.

5. Practice long coitus

This advice is more relevant to the active partner. He should penetrate the other very slowly (even millimeter by millimeter) and go slowly. Try to stand still inside, feel the connection with your partner.

We used to enjoy fast frictions. Slow sex gives you the opportunity to feel the pleasure of the process of merging.

And the last clarification. Slow sex does not exclude the presence of acts of quick love in your life. Sometimes giving a splash of animal passion is the thing.

Ultimately, it is better if the partners will jointly search for the most optimal pace. Just do not rely on stereotypes in this: after all, even researchThe Pace of Sex: Slower sexual behavior .show that men may prefer slow sex, and women - faster.

also read: 5 things that kill sexual desire

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