While some men may think of foreplay as an annoying commitment, rather than something to be enjoyed, any woman will tell you that this is an integral part of a comprehensive sexual experience, like the act itself. Neglecting the quality of time before communication will only lead to frustration. If you want to give her a mind blowing orgasm, then resort to foreplay is very important.
1. Preoital massage
To warm up to the main event, start by massaging her legs, from her hips to her ankles.
Next, focus on the feet, kneading her heels and all other points beneath. Then zero in on the toes and stretch them individually. Bonus points if you finish it off by sucking on them.
2. Ask what turns her on.
When in doubt, just go straight ahead and ask what she likes about sex. “Most women appreciate men who want to make sure they are satisfied,” says Barbara Bartlik, MD, professor of psychiatry at Cornell University. "If she notices that you work hard to please her, she is more likely to return the service."
3. Focus on quality, not quantity.
Improve the quality of foreplay, and she will never again bother you about the quantity. “If you act as if you are just going through the movement to get to sex, she will notice, and she will need more time to get excited,” says Michael Perry, PhD, sexologist Encino, California.
In other words, do what you want and enjoy it while you do it. If you like the way her calves feel, appreciate them. If you like her ass, kiss him. “When a man likes what he does, it will also show and turn it on,” says Perry.
4. Easy first
Yes, the clitoris is an obvious place to concentrate your attention. However, many men do it wrong. "Direct stimulation of the clitoris can actually be painful," - says Kathy Winx, author of Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot , "Much better to rub the clitoral hood [where there are top of the labia], or rub along the edge of the clitoris than go straight to his head. "
When playing with the clitoris during oral sex, Birch’s advice is to “focus on the clitoris, then don’t focus on the clitoris."
"The clitoris reacts best to being teased, so you want to lick it and suck on it a little, build a little tension, then back off on it a bit before going at it again," she adds.
5. Expand your repertoire
There are many ways to expand the repertoire of oral sex, and you should always strive to add new movements and mix things up. To begin with, try to lie perpendicular to her body and stroke her clitoris with her tongue in a horizontal movement, not up and down. She will appreciate the change in stimulation, hopefully enough to return the service.
6. Drive her crazy with the figure eight technique.
The figure-8 tongue technique is one of the most tried and true ways to get things going below the belt. When you’re at her service down below, work the supersensitive area around her clitoris in a figure-8 pattern. Arouse her with gentle sucking until the little button swells, then carefully expose the area with your fingers.
Use the slippery underside of your tongue to circle it to the left and then to the right. With the rougher top side of the tongue, flick from right to left and then up and down. Finally, work up to figure 8s, alternating between your tongue's smooth underside and firmer tip. Constantly vary the degrees of pressure you use.
7. Don't overlook the labia
Oft overlooked as mere barriers to the vagina, the labia are packed with nerve endings and shouldn't be ignored. Hold each one between your thumb and forefinger and massage it, working your way up and down.
Or, using all of your fingers and your palm, “smoosh” the labia together, almost like you’re (gently!) kneading dough.
8. Explore her entire body.
Don't just focus on her genitals. The body is filled with erogenous zones, such as its neck, thighs and chest.
“The genitals are fascinating and fun, but try to focus on your partner’s whole body and not go straight to his crotch,” says Cassie Fuller, co-founder of the baltimore sex company Touch Of Flavor. "Try to caress, lick or bite other erogenous zones, such as her neck, back, ears, stomach or wrists."
9. Don't talk too much
Be careful what you say when you're trying to set the mood and build arousal.
“Weird, clichéd phrases can cause the mood to die quickly,” she April Masini of AskApril.com. As a general rule, keep dirty talk simple and personal: Pick a body part and tell her how sexy you think it is, or describe a fantasy you have involving her."
Then again, don't zip your lips altogether. “Women want mental stimulation,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First.
10. Pay attention to how she feels
Everything is different, so make sure you can read how it responds to what you are doing. It should not be hard to say what works and then use this information to maintain good performance.
“If she winces when you talk dirty, move onto your next play,” says Masini. “Or if she’s really into making out on the sofa, don’t try to move it to the bedroom.”