What to do if you don't want sex

May 22 2019 09:00 PM
What to do if you don't want sex

One-third of people in the world have problems with sexual attraction. We understand the causes of this condition and suggests ways to deal with them.

Sex in our society plays a huge role in self-affirmation. Recent studyHas Virginity Lost Its Virtue? Relationship Stigma Associated With Being A Sexually Inexperienced Adult. showed that the virgins do not want to enter into relations with other virgins.

At the same time, the established “norm” in the amount of sex creates a vicious circle. Many women are a “cool macho” and at the same time a “womanizer”, few women are a “loser”. Many men are a girl with “reduced social responsibility” who “no one will marry”. Virgin - "boring in bed", "will change."

In the end, all end up in the tail of the race for recognition through sex. So, to begin with, we offer to remember one thing: each has its own norm in terms of the number of sex, and if it is once every six months and you feel so comfortable, then this is normal. Even the complete absence of sex, if it does not bother you, is also the norm.

But sometimes the libido decreases dramatically compared to the normal state. And this is far from uncommon.

According to research , 30–40% of people around the world lack interest in sex for at least several months a year.

The causes of this phenomenon are complex because it affects not only the emotional state of the libido, but also medication, health problems (which you may not know), stress, physical fatigue, phase of the cycle, and so on.

We will try to make out the most popular of them and offer a solution to the problem.


Erectile dysfunction and decreased libido are side effects of a huge amount of drugs. Antidepressants can lead to this result ( 30–80%Psychopharmacology for the Clinician . people, this is one of the main reasons for refusing treatment), opioid painkillers, oral contraceptives, antihistamines, anxiety drugs, baldness medications, contraceptives, and many others.

If you are taking any of these drugs and you feel less sexual attraction than usual, go to the doctor, describe the problem and ask him to find you an alternative remedy.

Contrary to popular belief, remedies like Viagra will not help you if libido and erectile dysfunction decrease, as the problem in most cases cannot be solved by blood flow to the genitals. And the possible side effects of Viagra are no better:

  1. headache;
  2. stomach upset;
  3. blurred vision;
  4. eye sensitivity to light;
  5. sudden decrease or loss of vision in one or both eyes;
  6. abnormally long erection that can harm the penis;
  7. irregular heartbeat;
  8. stroke;
  9. heart attack that can lead to death.

If it is not possible to stop taking any of the drugs that reduce libido, “natural Viagra” can help. This L-arginine is an amino acid, a precursor of nitric oxide, which leads to the relaxation of smooth muscles in the vessels. As a result, they expand and blood flows more freely.

L-arginine can also increase microcirculation in the genital tissues, which leads to increased erection and sexual sensitivity. But you need a doctor to prescribe such a remedy, as an integrated approach is often needed to solve a problem.

Health problems

The reasons for reducing desire are one of the most popular questions on Tatyana Nikonova's sex-questions blog. And sometimes the question is formulated like this: “How to relieve stress from a partner in order to increase his desire?”

General health and truth has a huge impact on sex life. For example, an increase in blood sugar or just the constant presence of sweets in the diet can actually turn offMonosaccharide-induced lipogenesis regulates the human hepatic sex hormone-binding globulin gene . The gene that is responsible for sex hormones.

Therefore, if you have no desire for several weeks, but you are not taking medicines from the list above, you have no problems in relationships and stress, then it is best not to delay the visit to the doctor. A decrease in libido can be caused by an increase in pressure, high cholesterol, smoking, changes in hormone levels, diabetes, and much more.

Fatigue and stress

Fatigue is not an ephemeral state that will pass in one day or which can be ignored, because "everyone is tired."

If recently there has been a great shock in your life - moving, exams, the death of a relative, then, most likely, the desire will return when the problem is solved or you cope with the experience.

But a serious, long-lasting change in life is another reason for reducing sexual desire. Emigration, financial instability, the birth of children - all this makes you live in an unusual rhythm.

The birth of children in general overturns life for many years to come, and fatigue becomes a permanent state. Stress also causes the body to produce cortisol - a hormone that is incompatible with sexual desire.

In this case, the reorganization of life, the distribution of responsibilities can help. But it should be on a permanent basis, and not for a week, otherwise fatigue will quickly return or simply will not have time to retreat.

Also in the mode is to add more time for a loved one, even to the detriment of other matters. Long-term stress depletes the body, and it will take a little time before the lack of desire will cease to be your only problem.

Relationship problem

If the decrease in sexual desire has found you in a relationship, then before checking all the above points, you should answer the question whether everything suits you.

Perhaps sex in this relationship was never gorgeous, and when it was time to fall in love, it became too obvious? Perhaps you are limited in expressing feelings and emotions and your sexual desire has never been important? Maybe you just want something new, but you do not know how to say this ? Perhaps you have become less likely to want to have sex, but it suits you, and the partner does not?

Talking about sex is difficult. But one advice - start talking about it. A partner who treats you as an individual and respects your desires will accept them and be ready for a long absence of sex if, for example, you are being treated for depression.

The one who will wait must be remembered: sex may not return. Especially if the problem is still in a different norm for each of you. And no persuasion and “perfect courtship” will make a person want more than he needs.

For many, sexual activity is an important part of life and relationships, but you need to remember that problems with libido are a common thing. It is necessary to take care of your health first of all, and not to wait until “it will pass by itself”.

Here is what happens to your body when you Have too much sex

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