1- Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
2- Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.
3- Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?
4- Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"
5- A: Why are you crying?
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.
6- In a restaurant:
Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!!
Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.
7- My boss is so unpopular even his own shadow refuses to follow him.
8- Knock Knock
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you so much! (I love you so much..)
9- Did you hear about the skeleton who walked into a cafe?
He ordered a cup of coffee and a mop.
10- One teacher said this to his students before the final test.
"A" is for God.
"B" is for me and my wife.
"C" is for the perfect student.
"D & F" are for all other students.
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