I will always be one of those people who carries, like, seven pounds of extra weight. Not because I am fat. Not because I am particularly gluttonous or lazy.

1. You never will be able to wear this:

There’s too much room for error here. Suffocated boobs and digging into our sides. we know when to take the bench. Cut-out dresses just don’t make the cut.

2. Getting up in a movie theater

There’s no easy way out of this one at least two people always end up with an errant butt cheek in their laps or boob graze on their faces.

3. Nothing fits you properly in all the right places

Your boobs stick out, but it’s baggy on the stomach, but cuts under the arms, but it’s tight on the sides, but loose on the waist, but snug on the butt, hips and thighs. And if that sounds exhausting, it’s because it’s true. Trying to exist comfortably in clothing is a struggle.

4. Jean shorts are essentially thongs

It’s like a publicly acceptable form of porn. As soon as you start walking, they will invariably turn into chafing denim underwear, and picking them out of your ass requires giant King Kong fingers.

5. You can’t maneuver jutting chairs and tables at a restaurant easily

Any time you have to get up to go anywhere, you can’t approach it straight on. You have to keep turning towards the side.