What is Islamic divorce, do you want to know? Check here
What is Islamic divorce, do you want to know? Check here
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Divorce is permitted in Islam as a last resort if it is not possible to continue a marriage. Certain steps need to be taken to ensure that all options have been exhausted and both parties are treated with respect and justice. In Islam, ​it is believed that married life should be filled with mercy, compassion, and tranquility. Marriage is a great blessing. Each partner in the marriage has certain rights and responsibilities, which are to be fulfilled in a loving way in the best interests of the family.

Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

Evaluate and Try to Reconcile When a marriage is in danger, couples are advised to pursue all possible remedies to rebuild the relationship. Divorce is allowed as a last option, but it is discouraged. The Prophet Muhammad once said, "Of all the lawful things, divorce is the most hated by Allah." For this reason, the first step a couple should make is to really search their hearts, evaluate the relationship, and try to reconcile. All marriages have ups and downs, and this decision should not be arrived at easily. Ask yourself, "Have I really tried everything else?" Evaluate your own needs and weaknesses; think through the consequences. Try to remember the good things about your spouse, and find forgiveness patience in your heart for minor annoyances. Communicate with your spouse about your feelings, fears, and needs. During this step, the assistance of a neutral Islamic counselor may be helpful for some people.

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If, after thoroughly evaluating your marriage, you find that there is no other option than divorce, there is no shame in proceeding to the next step. Allah gives divorce as an option because sometimes it is truly the best interest of all concerned. Nobody needs to remain in a situation that causes personal distress, pain, and suffering. In such cases, it is more merciful that you each go your separate ways, peacefully and amicably.

Recognize, though, that Islam outlines certain steps that need to take place both before, during, and after a divorce. The needs of both parties are considered. Any children of the marriage are given top priority. Guidelines are given both for personal behavior and legal process. Following these guidelines may be difficult, especially if one or both spouses feel wronged or angry. Strive to be mature and just. Remember Allah's words in the Quran: "The parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness." (Surah al-Baqarah, 2:229)

Arbitration The Quran says: “And if you fear a breach between the two, appoint an arbiter from his relatives and an arbiter from her relatives. If they both desire reconciliation Allah will effect harmony between them. Verily Allah has full knowledge, and is aware of everything.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:35)

A marriage and a possible divorce involve more people than just the two spouses. It affects children, parents, and entire families. Before a decision is made about divorce, then, it is only fair to involve family elders in an attempt at reconciliation. Family members know each party personally, including their strengths and weaknesses, and would hopefully have their best interests at heart. If they approach the task with sincerity, they may be successful in helping the couple work their issues out.​

Some couples are reluctant to involve family members in their difficulties. One must remember, though, that a divorce would affect them as well—in their relationships with grandchildren, nieces, nephews, etc. and in the responsibilities they would face in helping each spouse develop an independent life. So the family will be involved, one way or the other. For the most part, family members would prefer the opportunity to help while it is still possible.

Some couples seek an alternative, involving an independent marriage counselor as arbiter. While a counselor may play an important role in reconciliation, this person is naturally detached and lacks personal involvement. Family members have a personal stake in the outcome and may be more committed to seeking a resolution.

If this attempt fails, after all due efforts, then it is recognized that divorce may be the only option. The couple proceeds to pronouncing a divorce. The procedures for actually filing for divorce depend on whether the move is initiated by the husband or the wife.

Filing For Divorce When a divorce is initiated by the husband, it is known as talaq. The pronouncement by the husband may be verbal or written, and should only be done once. Since the husband is seeking to break the ​marriage contract, the wife has full rights to keep the dowry (mahr) paid to her. If the wife initiates a divorce, there are two options. In the first case, the wife may choose to return her dowry to end the marriage. She forgoes the right to keep the dowry since she is the one seeking to break the marriage contract. This is known as khul'a. On this topic, the Quran says, "It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. There is no blame on either of them if she gives something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah so do not transgress them" (Quran 2:229).

In the second case, the wife may choose to petition a judge for divorce, with cause. She is required to offer proof that her husband had not fulfilled his responsibilities. In this situation, it would be unjust to expect her to also return the dowry. The judge makes a determination based on the facts of the case and the law of the land. Depending on where you live, a separate legal process of divorce may be required. This usually involves filing a petition with a local court, observing a waiting period, attending hearings, and obtaining a legal decree of divorce. This legal procedure may be sufficient for an Islamic divorce if it also satisfies Islamic requirements. In any Islamic divorce procedure, there is a three-month waiting period before the divorce is finalized.

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