Commitment Phobia: Truth or an excuse?

Jul 11 2018 03:23 PM
Commitment Phobia: Truth or an excuse?

You meet the person, hang around, enjoy the person's company, everything is going well and then all of a sudden you feel suffocated, as if there's no air. The panic increases when things proceed. Things worsen, and the worst part about it is that the other person has no clue of what the issue is. The other person may not always be observant enough to notice the changes and sense the mishap in the equation you share. 

Commitment Phobia, ain't what you may assume to be the flavour of westernisation to our relationships. It is as old an issue, as is love. Commitment phobes have always existed in our society.

Literature is said to reflect the honest picture of its contemporary society. 

Sharat Chandra Chattopadhyay's Devdas potrays the character of Devdas, the male protagonist of the novel written, suffering from a similar issue, back in the 1917.

 The novel describes a man brought up amidst all the luxuries of life, who loves a woman immensely but fails to commit. Isn't that what you call 'Gamophobia'?

Well, the story ends on a tragic note of Deva's death. The reason behind their separation might have been the opposition offered by Deva's family, but had the protagonist been firm about what he wanted, the story might have probably ended on a different note.

Hence Gamophobia or what you more popularly reffer as Commitment Phobia, is not an illusion. It is not a hypothesis. 

Studies about the same revealed that the issue holds back its roots to your experiences of the past. A heartbreak could be one reason for it. Well, a more prominent issue commonly discovered between the various individuals studied, was an upbringing where they had to deal with their parent's separation or domestic violence against one of their parents. 

Pushing an individual into a relationship is no solution. The person should be made to realise the need of a secure relationship. It is only when you realise the value of things yourself, can you actually value them completely.

Also read:

Section 377: Human romances human

Causes behind the undiscovered female body

Better to end it than to stretch it further.

Ranbir Kapoor visited Alia Bhatt’s house, Mahesh Bhatt also seems enjoying the company


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