1- Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.

Boy: What are the two things?

Girl: Your feet.

2- The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick'

The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?'

The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'

3- Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.

Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

4- Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"

Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

5- Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"

Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"

6- A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.

B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

7- A: Why are you crying?

B: The elephant is dead.

A: Was he your pet?

B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.

8- PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"

TEACHER:" Of course not."

PUPIL: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework."

9- Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?

Little Johnny: But I asked first!

10- Two goldfish in a bowl talking:

Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?

Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?