1. She yells, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!"
Everyone in the bar stops and stares. Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table with a red face. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes.
She smiles and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations." To which the guy responds as loudly as possible, "What do you mean $200 for a BJ?"
2. A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The husband said, "No sweetie." The woman said, "I'm sure you would."
So the man said, "Okay, I would" Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so." Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."
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