1. Bus conductor: Why are taking two tickets?
Passenger: Because if i lose one that second ticket will save me.
Conductor: what if you lose both?
Passenger: Listen, I am not a fool. I already have my Pass with me.!!! 
2. Employer : We need someone for this Job, who is Responsible.
Applicant : Sir, your search ends here, in my previous job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I am Responsible... 
3. Once old man asks: When a newly married couple smile, everyone knows why.
But when a fifteen year married couple smile every wonders why..!!!
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